Why Dads Matter: Rethinking What It Means to Be a Father Today.

We hear a lot about the importance of mums when a baby’s born. But what about dads?

In this conversation with world renowned evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin, we dive into the untold story of modern fatherhood. Far from being just the “helper parent,” dads undergo their own biological and emotional transformations, deeply shaping not only their children's futures, but their own mental health too.

Men’s mental health — especially around fatherhood — is often ignored. Depression in men post-birth is still seen as rare or even self-indulgent. But the science says otherwise. The hormone changes, the emotional strain, the social pressure to be “the rock” — it’s real, and it’s affecting millions.

This blog explores five powerful takeaways from our chat with Anna: from the biological shifts in men, to how dads help shape emotionally healthy children.

The Evolution of Fatherhood

It turns out, dads aren't a modern luxury — they’re an evolutionary necessity. Around 500,000 years ago, something shifted. Human babies started being born earlier due to the size of our brains and the narrowness of the birth canal. That meant infants were more helpless — and needed more than just mum to survive.

Enter dad. Evolution selected for men who stepped in — holding, protecting, playing, and eventually helping kids venture into the social world. From toddlerhood to the teenage years, fathers became specialists in building resilience, independence, and emotional strength.

This history smashes the myth that fatherhood is optional. Human dads are one of the rarest things in the animal kingdom — and one of the most impactful. Fatherhood isn’t just cultural. It’s hardwired. We’ve been parenting for half a million years.

Fatherhood Is Instinctive, Not Learned

We’re conditioned to believe that mums “just know what to do” and dads have to learn it. But according to science, that’s rubbish. Dads are biologically primed to parent — they just bond differently. Testosterone levels drop, oxytocin and other bonding hormones rise, and the brain rewires itself to nurture and protect.

Men go through hormonal shifts just like women, only theirs are driven by interaction — holding, playing, and connecting with the baby. This means things like skin-to-skin contact, daily play, and even baby massage aren’t just feel-good extras — they’re vital tools for mental health and bonding. Recognising this helps tackle outdated ideas that fathers are “useless” in the early months. They’re not. They’re just bonding in their own (equally instinctive) way.

Present Fathers Build Stronger, More Resilient Children

Dads aren't just the “fun parent” — they play a crucial developmental role. From the earliest weeks, children benefit from what Dr. Machin calls “the parent of challenge.” Fathers help children build emotional resilience, learn to navigate risk, and develop vital social and language skills.

Whether it’s rough-and-tumble play, bedtime stories, or simply being present — quality father-child interaction shapes the very architecture of the brain. Kids with strong father figures have better emotional regulation, more confidence, and are less likely to struggle with poor mental health. And it’s not just boys. Girls with strong father figures are more likely to thrive academically, socially, and emotionally too.

Even if a dad isn’t present every day, it’s not about quantity — it’s about consistent, meaningful connection.

The Hidden Reality of Postnatal Depression in Men

Around one in ten new dads experience postnatal (or perinatal) depression — but hardly anyone talks about it. There’s no routine screening, little public awareness, and men are often sidelined by the health system entirely.

And yet, the risks are real. From hormonal shifts (testosterone drops, oxytocin rises) to identity struggles and the pressure of being “the provider,” men face a perfect storm of emotional strain. For many, this manifests in withdrawal, anger, anxiety, or unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol.

Crucially, untreated depression in men doesn’t just affect them — it impacts the entire family. Children may struggle to bond or develop properly, and mothers are more likely to suffer too. Mental health in men is not a solo issue. The good news? Support exists — and acknowledging the problem is the first step.

Fathers as Mental Health Guardians for Teens

The father’s role doesn’t end in childhood — in fact, it becomes even more vital during the teen years. As social pressures, identity exploration, and emotional changes hit, dads act as crucial buffers against poor mental health.

Teenagers with engaged fathers are less likely to develop anxiety, depression, or eating disorders. Why? Because fathers tend to influence the child’s “social world” — their sense of belonging, self-esteem, and emotional resilience. The same applies to daughters, who benefit hugely from fathers who affirm their value and voice.

It’s not always easy — teens push back, and it can feel like they don’t want you around. But consistency, acceptance, and simply showing up matters. Whether it’s a chat on the school run or cheering from the sidelines — that presence makes a lifelong difference to your child's mental wellbeing.

Summary

Fatherhood isn’t a nice-to-have — it’s essential. From shaping a baby’s brain to buffering a teenager’s mental health, dads play a role that’s deeply biological, emotional, and irreplaceable. And yet, too often, they’re pushed to the side — by the system, by stigma, and sometimes by themselves.

It's time to see fatherhood for what it really is: a powerful, instinctive, and essential part of human development.