What Gender Equality at Home Really Means for Men’s Wellbeing.

We tend to talk about gender equality as something that benefits women—equal pay, equal opportunities, and equal say in the home. But here’s the thing: gender equality is good for men too. Like, really good. In a recent episode of The Meaning of Men, we spoke with gender expert and author Kate Mangino about how the way we divide up roles at home can quietly shape our wellbeing—especially for men.

The truth is, many men are silently carrying the weight of outdated expectations. Be the breadwinner. Don’t show emotion. Keep everything together. It’s no wonder so many are struggling in silence. This conversation unpacked the deep (and often unseen) links between mental health, relationship dynamics, and domestic life—and why shifting the balance at home could be one of the most powerful ways to improve men’s mental health.

We’re talking about more than just sharing the dishes or who takes the bins out. We’re talking about identity, emotional openness, and finally addressing the signs of male depression that so often go unnoticed.

Here are five key takeaways that might just change how you see equality—and yourself.

1. Domestic imbalance can quietly harm men’s mental health

When we think of gender inequality at home, we often picture women shouldering the bulk of chores and childcare. That’s true—but Kate points out something that rarely gets talked about: men suffer too. Traditional expectations position men as the strong, silent providers. But that stoicism? It comes at a cost.

By taking on the emotional and financial weight of being “the man of the house,” many men feel they can’t express fear, sadness, or uncertainty—even when it’s eating them alive. This creates a perfect storm for stress, burnout, and unspoken despair. Over time, this contributes to depression in men, yet many fail to spot it or seek help because they’ve never been encouraged to open up.

In fact, trying to live up to this role can isolate men from their partners and kids, making them feel like they’re just “functioning” rather than truly connecting. As Kate puts it, being an equal partner isn’t about doing more for your partner—it’s about doing better for yourself. And that starts at home.

2. Equality in the home isn’t about splitting everything 50/50

One of the biggest myths about equality is that it means dividing tasks right down the middle. Spoiler alert: that’s not what Kate recommends. Equality isn’t about using a spreadsheet to track who took the bins out last—it’s about fairness, understanding, and communication.

Some couples have similar working hours, so a near-even split might make sense. But others have very different demands—think long shifts, high-pressure jobs, or stay-at-home parenting. What matters most is that neither person feels resentful and both feel their time and energy are valued.

Kate calls out the need to consider both the physical and cognitive labour involved. It’s not just who does the dishes—it’s who remembers to buy the dishwasher tablets in the first place. When men share in that mental load, it not only helps their partners—it gives them more agency, deeper emotional connection, and a stronger role in family life. And guess what? That has huge knock-on effects for mental health awareness and overall life satisfaction.

3. Emotional openness is a game-changer for men

One of the most moving parts of the conversation came when Kate described a man she interviewed who’d been divorced twice before finding happiness in a relationship where he could finally be himself. The difference? He stopped trying to perform masculinity and just showed up as himself—emotions, flaws, and all.

For many men, this idea still feels radical. Vulnerability? No thanks. But the impact of bottling everything up is real—and dangerous. Signs of male depression often go unnoticed because they don’t always look like sadness. They can show up as anger, withdrawal, or workaholism. That’s why breaking these emotional walls down is crucial.

When men allow themselves to be seen and supported, it builds stronger relationships—not just with partners, but with children too. That man Kate interviewed? He said being emotionally open made him a better dad, one his kids actually talked to. That level of connection isn’t just good parenting—it’s powerful for mental health too.

4. Gatekeeping can stop men from stepping up—and it goes both ways

Ever dressed the kids in something “wrong” and had your partner redo it? Or tried to help with a task only to be told you weren’t doing it quite right? That, says Kate, is called gatekeeping—and it’s a subtle but damaging way men get pushed out of the caregiving space.

Over time, it chips away at confidence and leads to men pulling back entirely. Why try if it’s never going to be good enough? The result is a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy where one partner does more and more, and the other feels less and less involved.

It’s important to spot this dynamic early—on both sides. Kate makes it clear that mental health awareness means not just asking men to “do more,” but creating space for them to learn and grow in those roles without judgement. It’s about letting go of perfection and focusing on partnership. That shift opens the door for deeper involvement, better teamwork—and ultimately, better wellbeing for everyone.

5. Gender equality benefits men just as much as women

The idea that gender equality is a gift to women from men is outdated and, frankly, unhelpful. The men Kate interviewed for her book didn’t embrace equality to “help out”—they did it because it made their lives better.

They felt more connected, more competent, more present. They had stronger relationships with their partners and children. They were less stressed, more emotionally resilient, and—crucially—more themselves. As Simeon reflected in the episode, equality at home isn’t just about doing the “right thing”—it’s about building a life that feels good to live.

That perspective is powerful in shifting how we talk about men’s mental health. Rather than treating it as a crisis to be solved, it becomes part of a conversation about freedom, choice, and being fully human. That’s what real change looks like—and it starts in the kitchen, the laundry room, and the bedtime routine.

Conclusion

So here’s the takeaway: gender equality isn’t just a women’s issue—it’s a men’s wellbeing issue. Shifting roles at home can relieve pressure, strengthen relationships, and give men more space to feel, to connect, and to thrive. It’s not about doing chores—it’s about reshaping identity.

If you’ve ever felt the weight of expectations, the pressure to hold it all together, or the silence that comes with struggle, this is your reminder: it doesn’t have to be that way. Rethinking equality at home could be one of the most powerful tools we have for improving mental health, reducing depression in men, and creating homes where everyone gets to show up fully.

And the best part? You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to start.